Perrrrrfect

I honestly can't believe I'm blogging right now. It's a little after 1:30am, in about 6 hours I have to be up dropping my brothers off to school.. but I have so much to say. If weren't so late and dark, I'd literally be running my mouth off.. I have so many things to say if someone were crazy enough to stay up and listen to me. Geeez.. so shall I begin?

One of the main reasons I'm finally blogging after what, 5 months? Dang, 5 months haha. Well is because I feel like it's the PERFECT timing where I am going to make change in my life. I guess I can call this a turning point, reality check, whatever you'd like to call it.

When things start to make sense, and the lightbulb pops up, or that missing puzzle piece comes in, you're just thinking oh.............WOW. DAMN. FOREAL? Not all these little things that happen are bad but sometimes, at least for a person like me, it hits home hard. Most of the time if that little piece had come in sooner, things would've made a whole much more sense. I don't get irritated until I realize I didn't have to do all the things I did. Just like I wasted time; used too much of my own energy. Too nice, too caring, too everything.

I guess what I'm trying to say is that all my life, I've been always looking out to for others to be happy moreso than for myself. This doesn't mean now I'm going to be a careless, heartless person, no noooo, never that. It's just now I feel like focusing more on me. Make me happy. Not that I haven't my whole life, but I could use more "me" time. I'm also trying to teach myself to be ok with not always doing every little thing. If I can, I can. If I can't, I can't. Am I making sense? Hope so. This goes for everything in my life.. not just one particular part, but everything.

Another reason why I'm blogging is to say thanks. Thanks for not doing something I thought should've and could've done, because now I got to realize it on my own. Now, I'm going to get on with life without it, bringing along with me those that matter the most to me. I really thought everything in life is worth at least trying for, but guess not for the things that don't even care. So oddly, that is what I've learned.

Change is what will be happening for me. Whether it be mentally, physically, etc. I have a good head on my shoulders for the 18, almost 19 years of my life so far, and I plan on keeping it that way. I only strive for the best, because I know I only deserve the best. I'm not going to let anything drag me down, or tell me I can't do something. I'm not going to settle for anything less than what I believe is the best. This may come off too conceited, picky, oh well. My life, and this is how I'll live it.

So I'll end this long ass blog with the quote/phrase/saying I live by, EVERYTHING HAPPENS FOR A REASON. And I sure know it does. I'm ready to see what life has yet in store for me. If I'm speaking literally.. my birthday is coming up in less than a month! Turning 19, finally! Fall has yet to come into play with the hot weather, but I'm getting ready. Halloween might be something to look forward to. Then comes November with a competition maybe, and thanksgiving. Then of course my favorite month, December.. the month that is always filled with lots of love, family and food. I'm glad I'm up and ready for everything that's heading towards me.

Well that is all I had to say.. If you've never heard this side of me, well Hello then. It doesn't come out often, but maybe you just might have to get used to it. :)

<3Ivana